And The Ritzy Goes To...

So in honor of the Academy Awards finally being over I have decided to make this post my ten favorite and five least favorite movies to watch on a hockey roadie. I'm not quite as funny as Seth MacFarlane but I like to think I'm a lot less expensive so I'm the better deal, and I do look good in a tux.
Before I get to my list here is what I base my decisions on, and keep in mind this is my list and my opinions are my own so if you don't like them well then shut your face and move on.
~First off these movies don't have to be about hockey or sports for that matter. Sometimes it's nice to escape the fact that we are only on the bus to get to the next set of games.
~Secondly the movie has to be viewable on a small screen. The bus doesn't have a 50" HD flat screen so as much as I love big explosions Michael Bay movies just don't work.
~Real acting means nothing, sometimes the best movies are the shittiest ones. If I'm on a bus for 6 hours I want to just melt into the seat and forget I still have 300 miles to go. Matt Damon and Ben Aflfeck I'm looking at you here. Thanks for sucking
~If I have to think while watching the movie you are off my list, and probably added to my shit list. I love a good thriller or drama but if I have to focus on the movie to get all of it this probably wont work. There is too much going on while riding the aluminum pony so something I can fade in and out of is ideal. There are exceptions to this rule as I have an iPad and noise canceling headphones which do let me enjoy my movies without distractions. For the most part though I tend to want to pay attention to my entire surroundings.
So that's how I base my list. Now sit back, grab some poppy corn, and away we go.
Top 10
#10-Miracle
Start the list off with a bang. Probably the best true story sports movie ever made. This plays at least once every season and is perfect for making me forget how much I hate riding the bus. Even the Canadians on the team enjoy this movie because we all get to watch a kid from UNH get the shaft.

#9-Tommy Boy/Black Sheep
I see these movies as one big cluster of awesome. Perfect flicks to sit back and laugh my numb bus butt off. Chris Farley is a genius and David Spade is a tool. What's not to love about this duo?

#8-Billy Madison/Happy Gilmore
Like my #9 selection these two movies are forever attached together as a pile of steaming hot greatness. Adam Sandler doesn't suck like he tends to do now. One movie about an idiot going back to school and the other about an idiot who sucks at hockey and switches to golf. Same character two different movies. "It's all in the hips" can also be used in pretty much any setting and situation that I am ever in.

#7-Almost Famous
A movie about a kid traveling with a band living life on a bus. This almost feels like it could be my life, except for the fact that the only coke that is around our team comes in the bottle and ships from Atlanta, not Tony Montana

#6-Scarface
How about that transition? Almost like I know how to write. This movie is an exception to my rule about focus. This movie is so good I don't care what is going on around me, I will let the bus burn around me to finish this flick. Plus I've seen it so many times I can recite it line for line and don't need to follow it on screen to know what's going on.  Anyway, about the movie, it's pure nose gold. It gives me hope that if I work hard enough I can climb to the top of my industry. Now lucky for me there aren't many equipment managers out there that want to kill me for my job.

#5-PCU
A cult classic favorite of mine. A movie about a college campus filled with dumb hippies and a group fighting back to have some unsafe, offensive fun. And it ends with George Clinton and P-Funk.

#4-Wedding Crashers/Hangover/Old School
These movies I have grouped together into what I call the Frat Boy Triumvirate. Pretty much just dumb comedies revolving around parties. I don't need to think, just sit back and laugh at the dick and fart humor.

#3-Will Ferrell
His movies no longer have titles, they are just 2.5 hours of him playing the same character in different settings and every time it makes me laugh and hate my life a little less. Plus there is just something fun about quoting a movie for the entire weekend in the most obscure ways possible.

#2- Super Troopers
This movie only works if we are on a trip to UVM. I hope to one day have the bus pulled over only to have the officer board and play the meow game with the team. A guy can dream can't he?

#1- Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Best movie ever made. I wish it were longer than 90 minutes so that I at least could make it out of Maine before I have to fight to find more entertainment.

Bottom 5
All of these movies have been played on a road trip at one time or another

#5-Inception
I've tried to watch this a few times on a bus and just can't wrap my head around the movie even knowing what's going on. It's a great movie but unless you are paying full attention to it you will get so lost you will think you are on a bus inside a bus inside another bus.
#4-Across the Universe
Another great movie turned to shit because of the open road. Unless you are sitting at home with a 7.1 surround sound system this movie should be avoided. Bus speakers don't do justice to the amazing soundtrack.  Plus the plot jumps all over and you need to focus to understand it all.
#3-Battlefield Earth
Why this movie was ever made I will never know. It's just awful. As my friend from back home says any time he hears the title it ruins his day. So this blog post is now dedicated to Ben Lanza.
#2- Schindler's List
I'm not even going to try and explain this one. Just know I have actually had someone put this on while on a road trip.
#1-Twilight
Fuck you Stephenie Meyer

Justin Beiber is Killing Hockey

What ever happened to music coming out of a locker room before a game that would actually get people excited to play? The beat of a great bass drum, the crash of a symbol, the surge of an epic guitar solo that will melt your face off. No, instead we here a whiny little weasel crying about some prepubescent love. Athletes have become soft in their music choices. No longer do we hear Metallica or AC/DC it's now Nickelback or T-Swift. How the fuck can a song about it being the end of the world because your boyfriend would rather break up than wife up at age 15 get a room full of 21 adult males ready to play the most physical game around? It just doesn't happen.
Last night I walked in to the locker room right before game time and was shocked to hear Pandora pumping out some top 40 crap that would make me want to shove hot pokers in my ears. I guess maybe I'm old fashioned but there is no way listening to a 16 year old boy sing like a 12 year old girl would ever get me in the right mindset to do anything but commit suicide.
Now that the rage is out of me I am going to post a list of my top 10 pre-game songs and my list of bottom 5. Chances are nobody will agree with me but fuck you this is my blog.

Ritz's Top Ten Pre-Game Songs
10. Kashmir - Led Zeppelin:My college roommate turned me on to this as a great song to listen to before we would play rec soccer. Along with a few shots of tequila we were certainly ready for the game...or the bar after the win.
9. Panama -Van Halen: There is just something about the opening that makes me feel I could go run a marathon. Something that will never happen but would be on my ipod if I were ever to try it.
8. Cliffs of Dover - Eric Johnson: Nothing screams sports like an epic guitar solo or song that is one giant solo.
7. Shoot To Thrill - AC/DC: It has the words SHOOT and THRILL right in the title. What more do you need to get ready for hockey? The game is about shooting a puck and the thrill of when it actually goes where you want it to.
6. Shoot it Out - 10 Years: I picked up this one while in Syracuse. Every so often we would have the music on in the office or while handing out laundry and nothing says folding towels like this song.
5. We Are One Tonight - Switchfoot: Another one who's title says all you need to know about the song as it pertains to a team sport.
4. Baba O'Riley - The Who: Simply put this is my all time favorite song. As with anything from The Who the instrumentals are just awesome. The Blue Man Group cover is pretty good too and often makes it's way to the equipment room speakers on game day.
3. In the Air Tonight - Nonpoint version, although you have to respect Phil. He is wicked hardcore, he wears sneakers with a suit. Even this version spends the whole song building up for the drum solo that makes me want to be Mike Tyson and one punch a bearded freak who tried to steal my tiger.
2. Immigrant Song - Led Zeppelin: There is a reason they are one of the best bands ever, so why not get two songs on my list?
1. Enter Sandman - Metallica: If you are an athlete and don't like this song you really aren't an athlete. You probably still have Velcro on your sneakers at age 25.

Ritz's Bottom 5 Songs (I've actually heard all of these in locker rooms before games)
5. Anything Taylor Swift - She's not ugly I will agree with every male on the planet about this but come on. We get it, you date guys, it doesn't work out, you write a song and make millions. Stay off my ipod on game day. But call me next week when you are single again, I could make a good song subject.
4. Anything from any Boy Band - If you are a male athlete and this is playing in your locker room please remove your gear and move down the hall. You are now 3rd line center on the women's club team.
3. Party in the U.S.A. - Miley Cyrus: I worked for a team that would listen to this song right before they took the ice for every game. We did go on a 13-0-2 run while doing it.*
2. Any country song that isn't about drinking - I know there are very few of these songs out there but for the ones that exist stay out of my locker room. I don't care that your wife left you and took the dog, or that your tractor is sexy. Unless you use a tractor as a zamboni, then you win good sir.
1. All things Justin Beiber - I wish someone would just tell him to shut his trap and go live the life of a normal teenage girl.
*I should make the rule that during a winning streak all rules go out the window, as soon as the streak is over though shit music needs to stop.

I hope you all enjoyed my rant, now go watch some hockey and get off the internet.

PS- Nickelback, you get a reprieve from my shit list becasue this is a hockey blog and you are Canadian. You are on a short leash though so either stop sucking or become American so I can hate you with 100% of my being.

Keep The Good Times Rolling

Well we may not be exactly on a winning streak we are at least on a 4 game unbeaten streak that includes two wins on the road against Boston College (#3 at the time) and our first win of the season at home Sunday against UMass-Lowell. It was a pretty quick week for us here in Orono. It took a few days for me to recover from the adventures in Providence last week but by Tuesday I was back to my normal crazy self and ended up having a really productive few days at work.
Friday the men hosted Providence College and we ended up tying 2-2 after being down 2-0 late in the 3rd. It was a good game and I think really showed a lot of what this team can do. Saturday the girls played BC in their annual Skating Strides game while I set up for a rare Sunday matchup for the guys. The girls ended up loosing 6-3 but raised a very impressive $4700 in their jersey auction.

Here's my chilli, cooking away in the office. Secret ingredient is skate dust.

Then comes Sunday, Superbowl Sunday to be exact. A day filled with good food, good hockey and "good" beer.  In order to fully enjoy the festivities of game I slaved all day over a pot of chilli I had cooking in the equipment room. And by slaving I mean I turned the croc-pot on and left it until kickoff. This sparked an idea though and a new feature that will soon be coming to the equipment room. I decided that for the rest of the year on game days I will have a pot of stew, chilli, or some sort of food going throughout the day. We normally take a lunch break and order out but the idea of having food at the ready makes my mouth water just writing about it. But I digress. Sunday we played UMass-Lowell to end the season series with them. When we first played them back in November we split loosing the first but winning the second. Sunday would be a game of first for us this season. We managed to score 4 goals, win in OT, and do so at home in front of a great crowd. It was a huge monkey to get off our backs and you could tell the mood in the locker room after was one of relief. For the freshmen this was their first ever win at the Alfond which in years past has been almost automatic. It's still hard to believe that it took us until February to pull out the W at the most intimidating arena for visitors in front of the best atmosphere in the college game. All that matters though is that we did it and we can now say we are unbeaten in our last 4 games.